


Cock, Cock, Cockatiel

by goodlivin2u



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, First Dates, Fluff, Hilarity Ensues, Jack is a bird, M/M, Nervous Dean Winchester, Sex Toys, grown men giving me feelings late at night
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-05 20:44:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20279548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goodlivin2u/pseuds/goodlivin2u
Summary: Fresh from a break-up, Dean is nervous when he's finally invited over to Cas' house after a date. He goes to the bathroom to calm down, but a surprise guest makes him question if his anxiety is valid.





	Cock, Cock, Cockatiel

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JenSpinner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenSpinner/gifts).

> For JenSpinner, because she's always posting animal videos on Facebook (so I know she'll like this).
> 
> Inspired by an image prompt I put on the Destiel Port facebook group.

Dean and Cas had been going out for almost two months now. At the beginning, Dean was hesitant to start a new relationship, as he had just been kicked to the curb (quite literally – his clothes were thrown from a third-story window and he was chased outside by an old lady with a broom and a frying pan) after his last attempt. But Cas was kind, and patient, and… “dreamy,” according to his best friend Charlie.

Despite Cas’ reassurances that “it’s okay to go slow,” Dean relied on touch to express his affection, and casually holding hands could only sustain him for so long.

Before they knew it, Dean and Cas had progressed from sustained eye contact to holding hands, and from holding hands to bumping shoulders while walking or knees while sitting. They once went to dinner and a movie but refrained from making out like horny teenagers. Cas’ head rested on Dean’s shoulder, if only because he was getting tired. It was that night that Dean ventured a kiss on Cas’ forehead as he brushed back the hair that kept falling.

After, the physical affection came more easily. There were goodnight kisses at the door, and then hello kisses before dates, and then everything in between. Sometimes, it was hard to leave the car because they were too busy trying to map each other’s mouths and memorize the sounds of delayed gratification.

Tonight, though, was the first night that Cas had invited Dean back to his place after their date. It was a big step in their relationship, at least as far as Dean was concerned. Maybe nothing would happen, or maybe something would, and Dean didn’t know which choice he was favoring. He was sure of one thing though: his nerves were getting the best of him. He could feel the sweat trickle down his neck and under his shirt, and his stomach was in knots.

“Hey Cas, mind if I use your bathroom for a minute?” Dean asked as he rose from the couch in Cas’ living room, where they had been sitting awkwardly for the past 10 minutes.

“Of course, Dean. It’s the first door on the left in the hallway.”

Dean walked into the bathroom, turning on the light to get a good look at himself. Man, did he look on edge – practically vibrating and eyes darting here and there. He needed to get a hold of himself fast, or else this night would be over before he knew it!

“Winchester, you’ve got to man up. It’s just a date, one simple date. You’ve been on those before. You’re with Cas, there’s nothing to be afraid of. He’s not going to tie you up and murder you, and Jo is on standby for an emergency call (though she’d totally make fun of you later for using her as an excuse). You can do this.”

He paced the small room, dropping down finally on the toilet. Perhaps it was his stomach that needed some relief. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. However, when he opened his eyes, he saw a bird looking at him. A bird in the shower. A bird in the shower, sitting on … a suction-cup dildo??

Dean knew his mind was playing tricks on him, so he laughed and shook his head, blinking several times. But the bird was still there, not moving a single muscle. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity.

Dean was the first to blink.

“CAS!” he yelled. Finally, the bird moved its head in the direction of Dean’s voice.

“Did I forget to refill the toilet paper dispenser?” Cas asked as he walked towards the bathroom. “I could have sworn I did that already.”

“No, the toilet paper is fine, Cas. But what is _that_?” Dean said as he pointed to the bird in question.

“Oh, you mean Jack? Jack’s my pet cockatiel. I got him as a rescue when he was a baby.”

Cas knelt down and started cooing while petting his bird.

Dean couldn’t argue, the cockatiel was damn cute. “Uh-huh. And why is _Jack_ sitting on a dildo, may I ask?”

“Jack has attachment issues, and likes to be in the same room as humans. He frequently takes showers with me, so I needed to buy him a perch.”

“What, the pet store doesn’t sell bird perches anymore? You had to sink low enough – no pun intended – and visit a sex shop? Or did you already have this just lying around?” Dean prayed it was the former option and not the latter, because that would be gross.

“Dildos are surprisingly cheaper than legitimate perches. I only wish they were a bit sturdier, a bit stiffer, because Jack tends to bounce around on the wet rubber.”

Cas held the dildo still in one hand as he brought the bird to his chest with the other. Seeing Cas’ hand wrapped around the realistic-looking sex toy made Dean jealous, and a bit turned on. Unfortunately, those feelings were squashed with the realization that Dean had been sitting on the toilet with his pants and underwear around his legs during this whole conversation. Could this night get any worse? Dean feared for the answer.

“And no,” Cas said as he pulled Dean out of his thoughts with his deep voice. “I’ve never used the dildo. I was going to return it to the store, but as you can see, I found an alternative use for it. I always say: ‘Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle.’”

Dean was hopelessly falling in love with this nerd who showers with his pet bird, and sings off-key in the car, and trips over his own shoelaces (Dean bought him an elastic pair and Velcro ones after that fiasco happening too many times), and reuses dildos, and told Dean’s niece a bedtime story over the phone because Dean was babysitting one night and was at his wit’s end (no one knows that Dean almost fell asleep that night, too).

It seemed that there would be no need to call Jo for an escape plan. Dean was quite happy to sit here with Cas and a bird that had now walked towards Dean and was nibbling his ankle. Yes, things would be just fine.


End file.
